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Come on Spam Me, Spam Me I’m Here, Spam Me Now!

I give up, no matter how bloody good your anti spam software is you always have to deal with the inevitable. It’s almost like you’re hunting me.

People are always going to try to post a spam comment that is so crap it is unbelievable. The latest I have had is an SEO company from Pakistan (or some idiot they have hired) trying to post one liners that are barely legible, and all sorts of idiots in the SEO industry who have no clue how to comment spam ‘properly’ (lol) giving me the once over to test if I’m checking my comments or just letting shite slip through.

Let me tell you something Mr Spammer, if you bleed, I can kill you!

In the spirit of Linda Grace’s post that allows massive spamming, I have made this quick post to allow all you lazy bastards who can’t read through my material to make a respectable comment, to be able to do so here without using an ounce of grey matter.

I have asked Arnie to give you exact instructions on what to do, unfortunately during filming he got things slightly wrong.

Predator is meant to be you, Arnie… me. forgive his slight error in following script, details of how to follow his instructions while omitingĀ Arnold’sĀ error are below.

Watch the video below and replace the word ‘kill’ with the word ‘spam’ instead.

10 comments

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  1. Ameenah

    Ok, so I guess by commenting on this post I’m a spammer too. I had to click through to your post from a comment I you made on ComLuv, because the link-back title was just so ridiculous. I’m sorry for your distress with the crazy amounts of random and unrelenting spam, but your post was hilarious and pretty much made my day.
    Ameenah recently wrote..Angry Birds Trilogy Coming to ConsolesMy Profile
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    1. Chris Naish

      Glad to see it made you laugh Ameenah, you should have seen the fits of childish giggles I was throwing as I wrote it. lol

      Blog posting has to be a little fun sometimes too huh? ;-)
      Chris Naish recently wrote..A list of my favorite Dumb Spam Comments (Or Showing Webmasters what Their Link Builders are up to)My Profile

  2. I. C. Daniel

    Overwhelming day? Take a break or something. Best regards from I. C. Daniel
    Twitter:

    1. Chris Naish

      Nah, more boredom. lol

  3. Gcampton

    Yeah, it sux Chris, but unfortunately there will always be those marketers out there who try to sell something they know nothing about, thus spreading the viral trend of terrible seo, ppc, etc you name it.

    I get them as well, not as bad as you probably do as your site is a little older, but I still get them. I actually get more bots trying to hack my login details which is slightly more concerning, thankfully security is working well.

    PS. thanks for the follow.
    Gcampton recently wrote..How to Create Free WordPress Autoresponder for Email MarketingMy Profile
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    1. Chris Naish

      Yeah, it’s certainly a pain in the ass at times, commentluv seems to do a good job of filtering it mind you!

      I hear ya on the bots also mate, what are you using to combat that? These 2 plugins are good when paired up, got them on recommendation from Andy Bailey:

      Limit Login Attempts
      WP-Ban

      Also just been playing with Wordfence Security which looks like it will do the job of both and then some.

      NP on the follow, nice to see somebody putting some useful and original stuff out there, glad you left the link to the autoresponder for free article, that’s something I will be getting around to soon and a reminder on your own site is always a good thing.

      Make sure you drop a few more links to your good stuff for me. ;-)

      1. Gcampton

        When I first started playing with security plugins, probably about this time last year, I did try wordfence and seemed really good. I also tested Better WP Security and Bulletproof Security in addition with a paid security plugin from the warrior forums.

        As I didn’t have a lot of traffic that I needed to monitor in real time I decided not to use WordFence, however may go back and play with it soon.

        Primarily I just use Better WP Security, it does a really good job so long as you know what you’re doing… I did manage to kill a website with it so, you do need to be careful with the “Tweak Settings”, generally the second setting on that page is “Do not allow people to see files in directories that contain no index page” is what kills it for most people.

        That thing conflicts with 95% of Linux severs thus destroying a website, the cure is to go into file manager in CPanel and delete the plugin and all .htaccess files. However most users aren’t that tech savvy so the WP support forums are full of complaints and 1 star reviews.

        Most of the other tweak settings only have problems with some plugins/themes but I haven’t encountered any problems yet. On my backlink authority sites I just enable Better WP security and allow it to write to core files.

        On my “Money Sites” I do not allow it to write to wp core files and instead use Bulletproof and simply copy the htaccess code from the betterWPsecurity dashboard and paste it in to bulletproof’s custom code/plugin fixes.

        This allows me to make use of features from both plugins making my site virtually un-hackable.

        1. Chris Naish

          I’m certainly not tech savvy enough to mess around with that stuff too much Garratt, I’ve killed (and resurrected) sites on more than 1 occasion using advanced plugins. lol

          Bulletproof caused me quite a few problems on a site recently. After it was uninstalled every time I tried to deactivate/delete/reactivate/update other plugins I kept getting redirected to the home page of the site.

          Hostgator were pretty helpful in diagnosing and repairing the problem, always been very helpful.

          At first they thought I had previously had WPMU installed and turned it into a single user site, god knows why!

  4. Matt

    Hey Chris, I read you book “Createspace and Self-Publishing Matrix”. How do you come up with these stuffs ? I must say, it’s an amazing book on keyword research for Kindle. Will review it shortly.

    I am an aspiring author. My kindle book is near completion. Trying to read as much as I can.

    Currently I am reading, “How to Write a Nonfiction eBook in 21 Days” by Steve Scott and pre-ordered a copy of “The Art of Book Marketing for Self-Published Authors” by Harshajyoti Das
    Twitter:

    1. Chris Naish

      Yaaah!

      Now that’s spamming! False name, False twitter ID (to an authority Twitter account no less!) and false website…

      Hang on… false website? Hmm… I would say this spammer is a bit stupid, but that seems a bit “harsh”. They must have had other motives. ;-)
      Twitter:

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